So what has been giving me the shits this week?
I have managed to contract Giardia twice whilst living in Darwin in just 6 months ... FFS
The first time was in January and I just put it down to plain bad luck ... FFS
It's actually my third encounter with Giardia ... FFS
I'm a lucky gal like that.
The first was in India when I was 15 weeks pregnant with Maggie, which set in just hours after we survived a horrific car crash ... FFS
To top off the night from hell, we were surrounded by police with AK47s demanding a bribe at 1 am in the morning in a desolate town in the middle of nowhere ... FFS
I had bits and pieces flowing from both ends, glass in my hair from a smashed up car and my husband whispering in my ear to hide my jewellery ... FFS
So it's safe to say I know what Giardia is and does ... FFS
This time I've narrowed it down to the one and only water fountain I drank out of on a run almost 2 weeks ago ... FFS
It was probably how I also got sick in January ... FFS
I thought it was gastro at first and soldiered on, but that didn't last too long ... FFS
Plus the antibiotics needed to get rid of Giardia always knock me for six ... FFS
I downed 2 Imodium and attempted to go out for a 8km run on Tuesday evening and 5kms into the run stomach cramps hit with a vengeance ... FFS
I was at the halfway point and had no choice but to run or walk 5kms home... FFS
I kept running and at 7kms I had to stop ... FFS
The sun was beginning to set, I knew the toilet block was 1km away and I didn't think I could make it ... FFS
I started to nervously glance at the bushes nearby but after all the recent snake photos posted on FB, I decided against it ... FFS
I'm not scared of snakes, but I really don't want one biting my arse and having to explain that scenario if I survived to tell the tale ... FFS
Plus a dozen cyclists were whizzing past ... FFS
I hobbled to the toilets ... FFS
It was the longest most painful 1km of my life ... FFS
So I thought.
The next day I was as right as rain. I'm cured! ... No FFS
On Thursday I get up early for a short run as HB didn't have to leave for work until 7am instead of his usual 5.30am ... No FFS
Stomach cramps hit again at the half way point. Mofo ... FFS
No worries, it's only 15 minutes until I'm home. I can do this ... No FFS
7 minutes later and just 800m from home I am crippled with chronic pain abdominal on the pavement ... FFS
I am breathing like I'm in the final stage of labour ... FFS
Don't push. Don't push.
I can't walk. I can't breathe. I'm squeezing my butt cheeks together so tightly ... FFS
I made a doctor's appointment first thing ... No FFS
The medical care in Darwin is atrocious ... FFS
Young junior overseas doctors who can hardly speak English and have no idea what they are talking about ... FFS
I was told to stop eating dairy, fatty foods and spices ... FFS
I have the occasional dash of milk in my morning coffee and that's the only dairy I've consumed for the last 37 years ... FFS
As for fatty foods, well I currently weigh 51kgs ... FFS
Oh and he gave me a script for Giardia treatment just in case. Mofo ... FFS
Oh and this is complete payback for teasing HB about his constant stomach troubles on his runs ... FFS
Karma really does bit you in the arse.
Cheaper than mofo therapy.
For more laughs at our expense check out last week's FFS Friday.
I would love to read about other peoples FFS Fridays. Primarily because it will make me feel better about myself. If you are a fellow blogger please grab the FFS button and add your link below and provide me with a weekend's worth of irreverent entertaining reading.
If you are not a blogger please feel free to leave all your FFS Friday worthy rants in the comment section below.
What is FFS Friday?
What is FFS Friday?