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Friday, September 19, 2014

All Bran Breakfast Muffins

All Bran Breakfast Muffins

Thermomix, healthy treats, healthy snacks, All Bran, Bran, Dates, nutrition, recipe, recipes
Delicious, light, moist and high in fibre

(Makes 12)

Instructions below for both thermomix and general baking.


1.5 cups All Bran
1 cup SR Flour
1 cup coconut milk
1/3 cup organic coconut oil (melted)
1 egg
1/2 cup organic coconut sugar (reserve 1 tablespoon for topping).
1/2 cup pitted medjool dates (approx 8).
1 tsp vanilla extract 
1 tsp cinnamon 
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarb soda
Pinch salt


1. Preheat oven 190C and prepare 12 case muffin tin. 
2. Combine All Bran and coconut milk in a bowl and let it stand for 10 mins. 
3. Beat egg, coconut oil & coconut sugar together and add to bran mixture. 
4. Add rest of dry ingredients to wet mixture and combine until just blended. 
5. Fold through chopped dates. 
6. Spoon mixture into cases.
7. Sprinkle remaining coconut sugar over muffins and bake for approx 20 minutes or until skewer comes clean. 


1. Preheat oven 190C and prepare 12 case muffin tin. 
2. Combine All Bran and coconut milk in TM bowl, mix for a few seconds on Sp 3 and let it stand for 10 mins.
3. Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl and mix for 10 secs on Sp 4.
4. Follow as above.



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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

7 Things That Could Go Wrong In The Marathon

First Marathon Fears

marathon, marathon training, 12wbt, galloway, run walk run, running, exercise, weight loss

1. Technology Failure - I use a small 2GB iPod shuffle and my last one broke down on a run so I suffered on in silence. Except it wasn't quite in silence, I got to listen to my thundering footsteps for an hour. If this happens on Sunday I will be in a world of pain, I need my podcasts and music to distract my brain from its narcissistic tendencies. I also use an interval timer, I've put a long life battery in it but what if that stops working? I just won't cope.

2. Stomach Issues - I have been taking my Crohn's meds ( I don't have Crohn's Disease) for 12 weeks now and within a week they started working. BUT the only time I have an issue now when I run, is during race conditions. I think it is the combined release of adrenaline and cortisol. Fuck hormones. Petrified.

3. Freak Injury - I have had aches, pains and niggles for weeks now and I've read all sorts of horror stories how people have broken their pelvis, ankles and feet during their marathon event. Oh and it seems someone always dies of a heart attack at the end also.

4. Running Gear - I have already packed my running outfit and gear that I need for the day. It's in a carry on bag just in case my suitcase goes missing at the airport, as this has happened to me on several occasions. HB thinks I am insane. I told him if he wants to run naked, go for it.

5. Footwear - I'm not worried about tripping over untied shoelaces, but I'm stressed about my locklaces snapping. This has never happened, but you never know, right?! Can you imagine running 42.2kms without a shoelace? Yes, I have read stories of people having to do this. I'm tempted to carry a spare pair, but again my husband is about to have me committed.

6. Weather - I have completed the toughest part of my marathon training in Darwin's beautiful dry season. THANK JEEBUS. I'm worried it will be a scorcher of a day in Sydney. In Perth sometimes it was 30C by 8am, Darwin's temps don't max out until 3pm, so I've been following Sydney weather like a crazy person. Also, I have not witnessed rain for 110 days nor have I had to run in it for about 5 months. Last week I had to run through a sprinkler and almost hit the concrete head first. If it rains, please pray for me and my crazy head.

7. DNF - DID NOT FINISH due to one or more of the above factors or not making the cut off times. Thanks to my marathon training run I know I can run the distance, but if something goes awry I will be devastated to return home without a finishers medal. If I get forced onto the DNF collection bus I will be absolutely mortified.

Because we all know I'm only doing it for one thing, the runners bling.

4 sleeps to go. 

Continue Reading ...

Friday, September 12, 2014

Niggles and Giggles

FFS Friday

running, marathon, ecard
Next time, I will stick to what I know best

So what has been giving me the shits this week?

Our Father's Day was awesome on Sunday ... No FFS

HB said it was his best Father's Day ever and Maggie had a blast too ... No FFS

He started his day off with an early morning run and when he came home Maggie greeted him 'Happy Father's Day, Daddy'. ... No FFS

But after that for the rest of the day it was 'Happy Normal Day', No idea?!!

We spent the morning down at the waterfront at the popup zoo. Once again I had to sign a release form for a photographer to take Maggie's photo ... FFS

HB said we should start hiring her out ... No FFS

Yes, she looked adorable holding crocs, lizards and giggling hysterically when a giant python kissed her nose ... No FFS

But the photogs weren't around 20 mins later when she was screaming blue murder for a chocolate milkshake ... FFS

It's getting harder and harder to keep her busy and entertained during the week ... No FFS

By the time Thursday came around she couldn't wait to go to school and I had a busy day planned ... No FFS

Hill training, dentist, waxing and sports massage - Torture Thursday ... FFS

My run started off beautifully ... No FFS

Finally, I was feeling fit and healthy again and then that niggly calf pain that has been coming and going on my runs decided to kick in permanently ... FFS

With all this marathon training one of my teeth has decided it wants to jump out of my head and run away ... FFS

I don't blame it one bit.

Clove oil wasn't cutting it so I made an appointment to see a dentist ... No FFS

I sat down in the chair and expected him to inspect my mouth, but instead I got a 40 minute science lesson on the anatomy of teeth, acid and decay ... FFS

He hadn't even looked in my mouth yet.

I told him about the immense pain I was in when running with this toothache and he diagnosed me straight up as a long term sinusitis sufferer ... FFS

Still hadn't looked in my mouth.

50 minutes later, I'm started to lose interest in his lecture, I'm watching the time tick away on his computer hoping like hell I'm not paying by the hour ... FFS

Never had sinus pain in my life ... FFS

He then tells me to put my head between my knees for a few minutes to see if my new found sinusitis worsens ... FFS

You've got to be fucking kidding me?

Am I on the new season of Punk'd? There was a camera in the ceiling ... FFS

Eventually, I lie down in the chair and he looks in my mouth pokes around for 10 seconds and says he wants an x-ray ... No FFS

According to him, the x-ray doesn't reveal a lot except the thousands of dollars of work I had done last year ... FFS

I'm starting to lose my patience now and I realise that I'm just going to have to live with this toothache ... FFS

I ask him if he's going to do the clean and polish that I actually booked in for and he relied,'No, not today', you can come back again ... FFS

Steam must of being pouring out of all my orifices when I begrudgingly paid my bill because the receptionist quietly handed me two cards for 'dentists, that are more skilled and just get on with it' ... FFS

So, I have to run a marathon next week with a tooth that wishes to implode ... FFS

Next is my waxing appointment.

I'm whisked into a room by someone who looks like she's 14 ... FFS

I really don't care because I haven't had any waxing for a couple of months now. I felt sorry for her ... No FFS

Straight away I could tell she was inexperienced ... FFS

First there was a tiny bit of wax placed on one eye then the other, then back to the other eye ... FFS

Then she ripped it all off ever so slowly ... FFS

Next some wax on the lip, then back to the eye, then back to the lip ... FFS

What is this? Mofo Face Twister?!

And then the tweezers come out ... FFS

Holy Hell!

I go to pay and it's $40 ... FFS

I am used to paying $30 something for an eyebrow + lip wax here, but $40 ... FFS

Next up sports massage.

I took two panadol before I even went ... FFS

If I wasn't the responsible adult who had to pick up a small child I would have had a glass of wine for some Dutch courage ... FFS

It's a 5 minute walk to her office, no DD.

Words cannot describe the pain she inflicts ... FFS

But she softens the blow but letting me know how worn out and tired my body is ... FFS

At the end of the day I sit down and catch up on the day's news events ... FFS

Obama has declared war on the world again and Ebola has apparently reached Queensland ... FFS

Why did I bother?

I should have kept the kid home, put on cartoons and opened a bottle of wine with breakfast ... FFS

The end of the world is coming ... FFS

That's one way to get out of a running a marathon.

But wait there's more ...

Darwin has run out of gas, so last night it started rolling out scheduled one hour power outages ... FFS

I was hoping ours would happen at 5pm so I didn't have to cook dinner ... No FFS

No such luck!

Cheaper than mofo therapy.

For more laughs at our expense check out last week's FFS Friday.

Please feel free to leave all your FFS Friday worthy rants in the comment section below.

What is FFS Friday?

Continue Reading ...

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Taper Time

I ended my months of marathon training with the 20km long run from hell on Saturday afternoon. I shouldn't have run, I was still on antibiotics and my entire chest rattled when I breathed.

But, only runners will understand when I say the anxiety of skipping the run would have been far worse than the actual pain I went through from running it.

Got to stick to the training plan. 

Except I didn't complete the speedwork that was set out for me and fell deep down into struggle town. HB and JG (Jeff Galloway e-coach) both said I should not have run, but I know best.

I really wanted to finish this training on a high and I am disappointed I didn't. And now I've entered a 2 week taper unwell, fatigued, stressed, no appetite and with very little sleep to boot.

Fun times.

I am digesting every prebiotic, probiotic and supplement known to mankind in a mad effort to boost my immune system to run the Sydney Marathon in just 10 days time. What I really want to do is to go to bed, pull the doona over my head, turn up the aircon and sleep for the next 2 weeks.

It has not rained in Darwin for 103 days.

I want to hear rain pouring down whilst that doona is stuck firmly over my head.

I am lucky enough to be fairly injury free, but I do have significant aches, pains and niggles from pounding the pavement for weeks on end. I have colours oozing from my toenails that I have never seen before and if I try and sit cross legged my hips get a little shouty.

There is still also that one spot on my left foot that feels like it has taken on a lego brick as a donor organ.

The taper is all about resting up, short easy runs, eating well, repeat.

I have zero appetite, I have a 3 yr old to chase, no-one is getting any sleep and I'm putting all this down in writing to remind me if I ever decide to sign up for this shindig again.

But wait there's more ...


My Mum flies up next week and I haven't seen her since May, she will be watching Maggie for us whilst we fly down to Sydney. Maggie can't wait for her to get here and wants to call her every 5 minutes to make sure she's still coming. I am so grateful that Mum is taking some precious holiday leave and doing this for us otherwise it just wouldn't be possible.

HB and I score our first weekend away in four years, woohoo! We have only left Maggie before for one night last year, but I'm sure she will be fine with her Nanny.

Continue Reading ...

Friday, September 5, 2014

I Ran A Marathon And All I Got Was This Lousy Infection

FFS Friday

So what has been giving me the shits this week?

After I ran my long run last Saturday 42.2 kms I noticed I had developed a burning sensation in my lungs ... FFS

I didn't think anything of it and my attention was soon diverted to the two massive blood blisters under my big toes ... FFS

I left them be and spent the rest of the day lying on the couch ... No FFS

Later that afternoon we went down to the local watering hole to wet our whistles and because Maggie loves to run around with all the kids there on the play equipment ... No FFS

It's a win, win situation.

We get to watch our gorgeous girl have a blast, relax and watch one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world ... No FFS

Maggie had found a little group of girls to play with and pretty soon a game of chasey ensued ... No FFS

It ended quite suddenly when Maggie and another girl collided head first ... FFS

Luckily both Dads were there to scoop up their offspring and administer kisses and cuddles ... No FFS

It wasn't long and they were both squirming to get down, eager to be off playing again ... No FFS

We went to go home and poor Maggie's eye was turning a lovely shade of purple ... FFS

At home, I discovered my toes were also a lovely shade of purple ... FFS

The pressure of the blisters was too much so I popped them and put some antiseptic cream on them. ... FFS

I went to bed that night and noticed the burning sensation in my lungs had moved to my throat and it was hard to breathe and talk ... FFS

Dry hacking cough commenced ... FFS

I got up at 4.30am to run a marathon and at 1am the next morning I am still wide awake ... FFS

Why am I doing this to myself?

I pronounced myself deathly ill on Sunday and did very little ... FFS

But yes it is true, high intensity exercise (greater than 60 minutes) does suppress your immune system ... FFS

Maggie's eye was fine but did look a little bruised ... No FFS

We took Maggie to the beach and HB and me had are usual argument about how many metres Maggie needed to be from the water ... FFS

I am the only crocwise person in the family ... No FFS

On Monday when HB got home from work, he sent me to bed ... No FFS

But first I wanted to show him my blistered toes ... No FFS

They weren't infected, but every time I took a step clear fluid oozed out of them ... FFS

Incontinent toes ... FFS

I thought it was pretty cool.

HB couldn't see what I was talking about so I stood next to him so he could get a closer look ... No FFS

He still denied that he couldn't see anything ... FFS

So I pressed down on my big toenail thinking said fluid would just ooze out, but instead it shot out like a fire hydrant all over his work clothes and shoes ... FFS

He screamed like an absolute girl.

He ran into the bathroom, stripped off and scrubbed himself in the shower ... FFS

I laughed so hard that my chest hurt, could not stop coughing and I thought I was going to die ... FFS

I almost called 000 ... FFS

HB said it served me right but thought I had croup ... FFS

I dropped Maggie off at daycare the next day and stupidly tried to go for a recovery run ... FFS

The burning sensation almost cut off my airways ... FFS

I went to the doctor and I think I have my first ever chest infection in my life ... FFS

I dropped off some scripts to the chemist and asked for some Panadeine for a headache ... No FFS

They refused to sell it to me ... FFS

They are pretty strict with it here in the NT ... FFS

I'm guessing that I looked so unwell and not dissimilar to a crack whore who is trying to set up her own backyard meth lab with 24 tablets of Panadeine ... FFS

I was so embarrassed.

I dragged myself to daycare to collect Maggie and the co-ordinator pulled me aside to ask how Maggie got a black eye ... FFS

Holy Hell!!

In my delirium I joked that she got her first black eye at the pub on the weekend ... FFS

I could barely talk or breathe and I was choking on my own phlegm and laughter during my storytelling ... FFS

Apparently that was not funny, she was being serious and completely understood when I told her how the accident happened ... No  FFS

Stellar fucking parents we are.

HB and me try our hardest not to be helicopter parents with Maggie ... FFS

Personally, I would just love to wrap this sweet darling girl of ours in cotton wool ... No FFS

Yes, I know the daycare was just doing their job.

Cheaper than mofo therapy.

For more laughs at our expense check out last week's FFS Friday.

Please feel free to leave all your FFS Friday worthy rants in the comment section below.

What is FFS Friday?

Continue Reading ...

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

My First Marathon

4 days ago I was starting out on a 42 km training run.

If this is all you read, then yes I did run the extra 200m at the end to make it 42.2km - my first 'unofficial' marathon.

first marathon, marathon, marathon training, 42.2kms, training run, Jeff Galloway, running, weight loss, fitness, health, exercise, 12WBT

If you train with one of Jeff Galloway's marathon plans you will notice that he requires you to run the distance 3 weeks prior to the event. This is unique to most other marathon plans and is the main reason why I chose it as a training plan. Furthermore, I went on to sign up to his e-coaching which gave me a customised training plan based on my abilities,  or in my case - lack of.

Each week I email JG with a report of how my long run went, what the temp was on the day, what intervals I used and if there were any aches or pains at the end. After Saturday's long run I received an email back saying ....

'Congratulations Sarah, you are a marathoner'.

HB had also run a 42.2km long run during the week for the first time and I turned him after reading this email and said, 'I guess we're marathoners now, huh?'.

It really doesn't feel that way, but I'm not sure what a marathoner is supposed to feel like? I'm not an athlete. I am an everyday average SAHM who sets herself exercise goals and uses running as release and therapy.

Ridiculous goals some have suggested.

How did my run go?

I set my alarm for 4.30am on Saturday morning, I silently got up got dressed. I drank an awful cup of instant coffee as I didn't want to wake anyone using the coffee machine, ate some breakfast, taped up my feet up and set out the door.

This long run was different as I was planning to do 10 loops of a 4.5km course. It meant no traffic, beautiful coastline, picturesque views, a flat course and I could hydrate and fuel along the way without needing to wear my hydration vest.

I started running at 5.38am, it was still pitch black and there were no other runners in sight. I wasn't quite brave enough to start off on my first loop as many backpackers and locals sleep out along the path and there is no lighting. So I set off down the street and by the time I had 5km under my belt the sunrise was greeting me like a long lost friend.

I commenced the loops.

It was 19C which in Darwin is lovely, cool and refreshing, but I knew as that red sun rose higher into the sky the temp would also quickly climb with it.

I had a gel at the 45minute point and it takes me a few kms to get one down. I have no idea how runners can suck a whole one down in one quick gulp. I've chosen the salted caramel flavour GU gels and I also have the Clif Shot bloks with me too as an alternative.

Now JG has insisted I run all my long runs at an 8min/km pace, I've never quite done this. Most runs before this have been at 7.30/km pace, but my last 37km long run I finished happy and strong with 6.59min/kms.

On Saturday, my first 5kms were slow and steady but then after that I was easily running sub 7min/kms so I stayed with it. It felt good.

At the halfway point I looked at my Garmin and my time was 2:24 and I realised that if I could keep this up I would achieve my sub 5 hour goal for a marathon.

Everything went well until I hit the 37km point, I had one loop left to run and I looked at my Garmin after it beeped thinking I just passed 38kms but almost cried when it said 37 kms. That 1 km difference is freaking huge when you have been running for just over 4 hours.

Anxiety set in, I found it hard to breathe, so I tried sucking on another a gel thinking a sugar boost would help, but it was no use as I had run smack into a giant wall. I have never hit 'the wall' like this before and it was bloody tough.

I don't know why they call it the wall either?

It should be called a motherfucking sink hole because you have to gather all your willpower to climb out of there and keep on running.

So that's what I did. One foot in front of the other and I ran. Crawling might be a better choice of words.

I thought about walking the rest of the way, but I knew this was my one shot of a sub 5 hour marathon so I did the best I could.

The temperature was 28C now and the shade had all but disappeared with the early morning breeze. I wasn't thinking straight and all I could focus on was listening out for my Garmin to beep those last few torturous kms away.

first marathon, marathon, marathon training, 42.2kms, training run, Jeff Galloway, running, weight loss, fitness, health, exercise, 12WBT
I once used to have pretty feet

I tried to think about what it would be like sitting at the Trailer Boat Club later that day with my feet up and a glass of wine in hand and watching the sun I ran to as it rose earlier, set softly into the sea.

first marathon, marathon, marathon training, 42.2kms, training run, Jeff Galloway, running, weight loss, fitness, health, exercise, 12WBT

Finally, 42 kms! I had done it and a huge smile crept over my salt encrusted face. But I wasn't done yet, I ran the last 200 metres, stopped my Garmin and started walking.

I had just ran my first unofficial marathon.

I had to walk an extra 2 kms to the car, I stopped and rehydrated then drove 5 mins home where HB met me at the pool with a towel. I soaked my legs in the ice cold water and walked upstairs.

first marathon, marathon, marathon training, 42.2kms, training run, Jeff Galloway, running, weight loss, fitness, health, exercise, 12WBT
My feet straight up a wall - it feels loverly after a long run

Recovery from these last two long runs has been harsh. The 37km left me with foot pain and fatigue which lasted several days. The foot pain was my own fault for switching to a new pair of shoes, but I wasn't expecting the chronic tiredness and fatigue that followed them.

This time I went back to an old pair of runners and escaped the foot pain and instead two giant blood blisters bubbled underneath my big toes.

JG also reminded me in his email that if I had of run the 8min/kms that I wouldn't be feeling so run down.

I don't regret it. I have no idea what will happen in Sydney and I'm expecting my finishing time to be slower with the hilly course.

And as much as I cursed that last 5kms I am so glad I did it because now no matter what happens on the day, I know I can run 42.2kms.

One more 21km run and then the taper begins.

first marathon, marathon, marathon training, 42.2kms, training run, Jeff Galloway, running, weight loss, fitness, health, exercise, 12WBT
HB was awesome,
once he figured out I wasn't moving anywhere in a hurry.

Continue Reading ...

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Father's Day Gift Guide

This is a sponsored post brought to you by Nuffnang  and Supercheap Auto.

To be honest I have not given much thought to this upcoming Father's Day. I guess you could say I'm still holding a slight grudge over our Mother's Day debacle. For reference, HB decided to give me a skydiving voucher and booked a brunch for the perfect time -  just about when the toddler loses her shiz and needs to go to bed.

I cut up the voucher and put it in the bin.

I need to let it go.

Research says I'm not alone and Dads all around the country are not getting a fair deal when it comes to Father's Day. In fact, Aussies spend half as much on a present for Dad compared to Mum and many Dads are just plain forgotten.

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day

This really isn't fair because in our house HB truly is the world's greatest Dad. This man would move heaven and Earth if needed be for any of his children.

Yet he makes gift buying so damn hard because he really does not need a thing. He doesn't drink, camp, or fish and we live in a 2 bedroom serviced apartment so even popping up a shelf or two is out of the question.

Just quietly ... Thank the Vodka Gods.

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day
All the Gear, No Idea - Tim the Toolman Taylor

Because even though back home in Perth with his man cave full of gadgets and gizmos he really was not that good of a handyman. He did try exceptionally hard though and always got the job done, eventually. Thankfully he can earn a very good crust sitting in an office chair all day long without getting his hands dirty.

I am now on the worlds' worst wife list for mentioning that one.

Who cares? What could possibly happen? Another skydiving voucher for Christmas?!

Let. It. Go. Sarah.

And all of this backs up the latest research findings. Dads are just so difficult to buy for!

Supercheap Auto has the solution, they have gifts for Dads covered even if they claim not to need or want a thing.

I've sorted HB's wish list out for him

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day
Oh these would be like sitting on a little fluffy cloud!
Perfect to cover up the Volvo's leather seats 
that I always seem to be permanently stuck to here in Darwin.
It doesn't matter that HB probably drives the car once a week.

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day
There's a very sad and sorry Harley Davidson gathering cobwebs downstairs.
I just know HB would love to spend an hour or two restoring her to its full glory.
 Then taking her for a ride and letting that beard of his blow in the breeze.
There's also a very dirty and dusty Volvo right next door. Just saying ...

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day, running, camera, trails
Now this is something the runner in him would definitely use.
He would totally get into running trails with this mounted on his head. 
I can just see him now uploading those trail runs to YouTube like there is no tomorrow.

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day
HB definitely has a touch of Phil Dunphy in him too - Gadget Loving Dad

He may just get one of these items for Father's Day from Maggie. And that's the sweetest part of Father's Day, kids just love to give their Dad a pressie whether it be big or small, it really doesn't matter. 

So much excitement and creative energy goes into the handmade gifts and cards and that's how it should be. But all Dads deserve to be spoilt a little on their special day. 

I think Maggie's daycare is well into Father's Day preparations because she asked if she could call him at work this week. I dialled his number and passed the phone to her and when he answered, she said ...

'Daddy, I just wanted to tell you that you're my hero'. 

I was speechless, the kid is three! Where does she get this from?! Then I clicked that maybe they had been writing Father's Day cards at daycare the day before. Anyway, I'm just the unpaid hired help obviously. 

I will also be buying HB something for Father's Day, but I don't think Supercheap Auto sells them.

Father's Day Gifts, Gift Guide, 2014, Supercheap autos, Dads, Father's Day, beards
I think he's forgotten how to use one.
Maybe I should forget how to use one? 
And then see how quickly it all comes back to him.

Forget the socks and jocks this year and head into Supercheap Auto and get your Father's Day shopping done and dusted in a jiffy. They have something for every type of Dad and for every budget.

And if you're a little bit time poor or you're still stumped at just what to get him - the Gift Card is always a winner!

Continue Reading ...

Friday, August 29, 2014

Pain, Problems and Persistence

FFS Friday

running injury, tape, KT tape, Rocktape, running
If these injuries spread I will be yelling for Papa Smurf

So what has been giving me the shits this week?

It has been another fun filled week full of mishaps ... FFS

Golden rule of marathon training is not to switch to new shoes just a few weeks away from the big day ... No FFS

Of course, I knew better than the experts and indulged in some fancy new kicks ... No FFS

They were glorious for the first week and then there was nothing but pain and problems ... FFS

I refused to believe it was the shoes and continued to clock up 100kms on them thinking it would just go away ... FFS

I finally succumbed. I taped my foot and went back to old my old runners and apart from the odd twinge I was running happy again ... No FFS

Thank Jeebus, because on Saturday I have a 42km training run ... FFS

Yup, I have to run an unofficial marathon before the real one ... FFS

The last big long run before my 3 week taper starts ... FFS

Not much of a freakin' taper because my e-coach has me running a HM the weekend after ... FFS

Let's just say it how it is ... it's a 2 week taper ... FFS

So I've been in pain, starving, constantly eating and forever tired 24/7 ... FFS

It's almost like going post dates at the end of a pregnancy ... FFS

Food porn on Instagram has my mouth watering and my stomach gurgling ... FFS

But if I see the term 'pulled pork' one more time I'm going to start a union for all the masturbating pigs out there suffering on death row ... FFS

They need a united voice ... FFS

After my 37km run a couple of weeks ago I smugly asked HB if he had run that distance before and he replied that he had run a 38km run in the past ... FFS

I stalked his profile and saw that he had only run 36kms previously and I Hi-5'd myself for the rest of the day ... No FFS

Then he caught wind of my training plan and decided to head out on Sunday night and run 42kms just so he could say he ran it before me ... FFS


And in half the time that I could possibly run it too ... FFS

Mofo Asshole.

With my foot injury and I took the advice from a fellow Instagrammer and taped it up ... No FFS

It feels like heaven so I'm leaving the tape on ... No FFS

It also looks like I'm morphing into Smurfette ... FFS

People look at me strangely in the shops. Especially because Maggie also insists on her feet being taped in blue too ... FFS

We've both done well with tag teaming and parenting on the weekends so we can get our training long runs done ... No FFS

We took Maggie down to the pub on Saturday afternoon to let her run around with the other kids and to watch the sunset ... No FFS

Usually one of us sits at a table alone and sips a glass of wine whilst the other ensures there are no fatalities in the playground ... FFS

But this time we could see her clearly from the table and life was grand ... No FFS

Some time had passed and she ran up asking for some money ?! WTF ... FFS

Before we had time to respond she reached into HB's pocket and grabbed 50c and took off again ... FFS

Several minutes later she came back smiling from ear to ear with a bag of M&Ms munching away happily .... FFS

HB went off to investigate and she had accosted some poor Dad at the vending machine who was buying snacks for his kids ... FFS

HB offered to give him the rest of the money, but he laughed it off and said she was adorable and had beautiful manners ... No FFS

She doesn't get chocolate at home and the sugar high was well noted ... FFS

We had to stay another hour to let her run it off which meant I got one more glass of wine ... No FFS

Cheaper than mofo therapy.

For more laughs at our expense check out last week's FFS Friday.

Please feel free to leave all your FFS Friday worthy rants in the comment section below.

What is FFS Friday

Continue Reading ...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

It's Gonna Be OK

inspiration, quote

A reader let me know a few weeks ago that she would no longer be reading my blog because it was all about long distance running now and that it's just not as funny as used to be.

Hooray! this is my current direction for the blog except for the not so funny part. I always consider myself to be very funny.

Quite insulted.

OK, so she might be on to something here.

I politely thanked her for reading along thus far and wished her well. I also mentioned that sometimes the funny just isn't quite there anymore. I mean, I can only pick on HB so much before he starts crying and rocking slowly in a corner.

But I know I have changed ...

I miss my older three teenagers terribly, half of my heart is missing and it hurts. It hurts so much that some days I can barely breathe, and when the lights go out at night the tears silently fall and I realise I am broken.

I am broken beyond repair.

I'm not sure who came out with the quote 'time heals', but it's bullshit.

Time hasn't healed a thing, but ugly red scars do fade to white so there is hope for me yet.

I was a bit of a hot mess when I arrived in Darwin last October. My family GP of 17 years had me on an array of anti anxiety, anti-depressants and when I got here, I just stopped taking them. As far as I was concerned their side effects far outweighed their benefits.

No magic pill is going to replace what I have lost.

I started running again and the natural increases in serotonin were just what my head needed to help my heart want to wake up the next day and keep pumping.

A fortnight ago I was brave enough to go and see a psychologist here in Darwin because my new GP thought it would be a grand idea to help with my insomnia.

Is it a good sign if the psych is crying along with you at the end of the session?

I googled her credentials and she has 20+ years of experience and I swore I would never go back. It's not her fault as she was just being human. But I have never walked out of a health professional's office feeling so hopeless or helpless in my life, until now.

It has taken two weeks to recover from that soul destroying experience. Recovery for me is found in focusing on the positives, being grateful for a wonderful husband and a beautiful three year old to care for every day. I go for a run along this beautiful coastline and take in her beauty and I practice self-care regularly.

I try not to focus on the things I am missing out on and I know it won't always be this way.

For now, it is what it is.

Running is my therapy of choice.

And these are a few of the reasons why the direction of the blog has changed and an explanation on why the funny isn't always around.

I sat down to write an update on my marathon training and this came out instead. Writing is also good therapy.

Continue Reading ...

Friday, August 22, 2014

Let's Have Another Baby

FFS Friday 

So what has been giving me shits this week?

FFS started last Friday on cue ... FFS

Our apartment fire alarm went off at 1.30am ... FFS

We all woke up grabbed our kids and evacuated to the curbside ... FFS

30 families sat outside in their morning glory for an hour ... FFS

False alarm ... FFS

The next morning I had to run 37kms ... FFS

I set off just after 6am and discovered road blocks being put in place for a triathlon I didn't know anything about ... FFS

It changed my route up a little, but that was fine ... No FFS


At the 32km point I was feeling good, I put on some music and started to sing along ... No FFS

And I got to run down the middle of one of the road's that were closed off to the public ... No FFS

There was not a soul about except for the occasional cyclist straggling along ... No FFS

For some reason though a few of them thought I was a part of the race and still on the running leg that I guess most finished hours ago ... FFS

So they cheered me on and told me not to give up ... FFS

I smiled and waved for the first 10 or so times ... No FFS

Then I cracked it and started yelling back to them ... FFS

I'm not in your fucking race.

A few more kms later and I made it safely home. Zen slightly dishevelled. ... No FFS

37kms DONE.

Physically I was fine, but for the next few days I was so freakin exhausted ... FFS

That was until Tuesday morning when I woke to a throbbing pain in my foot ... FFS

So for the past 48 hours it feels like I am continually walking on top of lego pieces ... FFS

I have self diagnosed myself and resting and RICE ing and I know it will pass ... No FFS

If only I could do this 24/7

Because on Sunday I have 21kms of speed work to do ... FFS

Maggie keeps stealing my ice packs ... FFS

Must stick to the mofo training plan ... FFS

We took a night off on Sunday, booked our babysitter and listened to our favourite band down at our local watering hole ... No FFS

HB never drinks, but when he does he relaxes and it's kind of nice ... No FFS

That is until he is tipsy enough to tell me wishes I was pregnant again ... FFS

And I am sober enough to want to walk into the nearest ER and demand a hysterectomy ... FFS

Thankfully, he comes to his senses and realises that we are done ... No FFS

Thank Jeebus

But I would love a cute little kitten or two.

Cheaper than mofo therapy.

For more laughs at our expense check out last week's FFS Friday.

Please feel free to leave all your FFS Friday worthy rants in the comment section below.

What is FFS Friday

Continue Reading ...